I was hidden away for too long behind the protective walls of my home and under the sure layers of a school uniform. Going to school in Mexico means you don’t have to worry about what you’re going to wear. I wont kid you and say I was the one weirdo who didn’t mind not wearing normal clothes, there were a lot. Half and half I’d say. This was good as well, because I didn’t have much clothes. It’s expensive in Mexico and we’re sorta a big family. Add that to the fact that I spent the rest of those 168 hours per week that I didn’t spend at school, at home where no one would make me go out or dare to intrude and ta-da! This I how I, Vanessa, came to have the fashion sense of a potato.
Again, I never went out so I didn’t have a reason to get dressed up, also I don’t like getting dressed up because I feel uncomfortable and if I feel uncomfortable I don’t want to be in the ouernet so… You get where Im going with this?
At the start of this month, I began my first official job since coming back to the US as a future interpreter for a company that offers that service to other normal companies and facilities. It’s an office job and so the dress code is business casual and that’s cool and all, but for the first week or two I felt so bad about !y fashion sense. With reason too. It’s really the only type of job I can get, the office kind which is okay I guess. I’m rambling.
My point is, after three weeks of wearing business casual clothes, of wearing heels, and trying to wear some make-up, I’m actually okay. I like how I look, and I like slowly starting to see what my style is. Because that’s the thing, isn’t it. You never know anything about yourself uuntilyou try it out. You don’t know what kind of books you like till you read a couple. You never know what kind of foods you like till you try different types out. And you never know what kind of style you have till you need to get to work in half an hour and you need to put some clothes on.
I need to remind myself constantly that you don’t come into this world knowing because I get caught up on all I don’t know how to do. And that’s not fair on me. I can give myself time to learn a bunch of new words for work. I can give myself time to discover my sense of fashion. It’s a peculiar thing, growing.